[ He murmurs something about something being caught in his throat, face still flushed pink even when he finally drags his hands all the way down his face. It’s a triple hitter when Steve calls him Eds as well, and he feels like he could use a good cold shower at that point.
He’s thoroughly flustered, however, when Steve says those four little words: I really like you. ]
Yeah…?
[ His hand goes straight to his hair again, tugging on a curl anxiously. His gaze shifts to Steve, eyes enormous and dark as he searches his face for…anything. Any sign that he may be fucking with him or trying to tell a bad joke, any sign that Eddie needs to shut this down before it becomes really bad, but all he finds is honesty. ]
I, uh…
[ He licks his lips, swallows thickly, and shit, he’s terrified. His heart pounds in his eardrums and flutters like a bird against the confines of his ribcage, desperate to be free. Yearning quietly is one thing—the safe thing, but putting it out there in the world…it can’t be taken back after that. But Steve was brave enough to say it, and Eddie…Eddie is supposed to be putting his money where his mouth is, so… ]
I like you too, man. Like—a hell of a lot more than I’ve ever liked anyone, honestly?
[ He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. ]
But it doesn’t—it doesn’t have to be anything, you know? You don’t have to—we don’t have to—I can pretend you didn’t say anything. If you want.
[ He peers up at him with a weak smile, anxiety etched into his features. He wants so badly to reach out and take this for what it is, to pull Steve in by his collar and kiss him absolutely stupid before he can change his mind and laugh it all off, but he just can’t. Because Steve is right—it is extremely dangerous in this shitty little midwest town where Eddie gets harassed just for his long hair and metal music. And that’s Eddie, who couldn’t give less of a shit what people think of him. Steve Harrington, however…popular, handsome, affluent family, known chick magnet.
[ It's really, really hard to look away from Eddie when he's so flustered, so he doesn't, even if Steve does try not to stare directly like a creep. There are just a lot of Eddie's mannerisms that he's been noticing for a while, and they're either kind of endearing or funny, and Eddie also being pretty good-looking doesn't hurt. When he licks his lips, Steve's attention immediately goes to them before he can catch himself and look up again. Damn, those are pretty too and look so plush.
All those are things Steve would never have imagined before; he would be thinking about another man, but life throws you curveballs like those. Like when Eddie admits he likes him back, because what are the odds of that? Steve feels himself torn between wanting to beam at Eddie, fidget some more, and hyperventilate, but he managed to keep that last reaction in check. He runs his fingers through his hair to get it out of his face and maybe takes a second to coyly hide behind his hand for a moment. ]
Oh, that's great. I mean, more than great. I wasn't expecting reciprocation, so this is g... [ Don't say great again! ] ...fantastic.
[ It feels a little awkward to talk to him about this when he's still seated, so he stands up so they're at the same eye level and moves closer to Eddie. Steve's just like that, it seems, moving towards uncertainty or possible doom when he should be running for the hills and saving himself a lot of trouble. But Eddie's wroth, as he said, and he's a man of his word. He takes a deep breath, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly as he gulps before speaking. ]
No, that's not okay. You don't have to. We don't…we shouldn't have to do that.
[ He understands why Eddie is offering, and right here is probably the correct moment to decide what to do next, because they do not live in kinder times or around open-minded people. But he also knows what pretending is like; he's done it plenty in the past, even if the situation is different. He doesn't want Eddie to have to do that, like he didn't want Robin to hide from him either. It hurts too much not to be faithful to yourself. He reaches out to gently brush his hand against Eddie, slow enough that the other man can pull away if he wants, making Steve's own wariness evident. He gives a small smile of his own in response to that hesitant one, though, aiming for encouraging. ]
Besides, it wouldn't really change anything, would it? Not for me, at least.
[ Steve’s overuse of the word great makes him snort and makes the corner of his mouth twitch with the threat of a fond smile as he pulls a curl taut then twists it back around his finger, avoiding Steve’s gaze all the while. He wants so desperately to look at him, wants to melt into his eyes and his smile and just live in their warmth for a time, but he doesn’t allow himself that. Not yet. Not until he’s stilled his heart and calmed some of his terror. ]
I know I’m a freak, Steve, but I’m not insane enough to not reciprocate.
[ Steve is an easy man to fall for, no matter how little experience Eddie has with the concept. Handsome and brave and caring and frankly hilarious whether he means to be or not is apparently a dangerous combo for Eddie. But this is neither the ideal place nor the ideal time, and Steve is right, they shouldn’t have to do pretend, but they will, and why should Steve have to navigate the complexities of a relationship like this when he can just find a pretty girl? Any pretty girl he wants. Eddie just wants so badly to spare him everything about this, but…
Eddie closes his eyes, takes a deep breath as Steve moves from the space beside him. He waits for a beat, assuming the sound of the ancient screen door is going to follow, thus leaving him with two uneaten pizzas and a broken heart. But that isn’t what happens. Steve merely comes to stand before him. He brushes his hand against Eddie’s, and Eddie doesn’t pull back. In fact, he carefully brushes his thumb against Steve’s as his eyelids flutter open once more and finally shifts his gaze to Steve’s and—he’s lost. That smile is everything, and he’d happily gaze at it for the rest of his life given the opportunity. ]
It wouldn't change. You'd just be putting a lid on it.
[ That’s one thing. You can hide it all you like but it doesn’t exactly go away. Eddie hesitates. ]
Hey, uh, Steve?
[ His voice comes soft as he scoots forward to the edge of the counter. ]
You know, if you wanted to kiss me, I wouldn’t exactly be opposed.
[ Okay, he made an idiot of himself, so that's not new. Steve huffs in amusement, too, after hearing Eddie because, thanks to Robin, he has learned how to laugh at himself. Despite how awkward his answer was, it almost made a smile appear on Eddie's lips, and thus, he considers it a win.
His eyes keep going to Eddie's hands and his long fingers, which frankly look very nice and he wouldn't mind feeling them on him, to the point he's starting to get jealous of the guy's hair. Steve can't help but marvel at the realization of how cute it is that Eddie is being kind of shy over all this. Better that than anger or disgust. Steve hadn't known what to expect; he didn't exactly have plans to ever tell Eddie about his growing interest, but he's glad that he did now, even if everything is still so new and fragile. ]
You're not a freak. You're just...different. That isn't bad, despite what people might tell you. You're fun, you have a great imagination, and you're kind. If that's being a freak, maybe we all should be more freaky on the regular.
[ He seems affronted that Eddie would call himself that, even if it's true that he's heard people call him those kinds of things—and worse—before. It makes Steve feel guilty, too, because his past is filled with bad decisions and condescending name-calling towards people who didn't deserve it, like Eddie, and now he knows better.
His protectiveness came up so fast that his brain didn't register that Eddie said 'reciprocate' until a good long second after the fact. Oh. If Eddie does glance at him, he might see Steve realize that in real time, a little but pleased smile appears on his face, not smug but satisfied that Eddie might like him back.
In this town, yes, they would need to keep up appearances in front of others and pretend so they can keep each other safe, like Robin and Steve already do. He understands and finds it more than reasonable. Hell, if his parents learned that he swings both ways, who knows how they would react; if past fights with his dad were any indication, it would get nasty. Good thing that a) Steve couldn't give less of a shit about what his father thinks and b) they're never around anyway and have all but formally abandoned him in Hawkins, so screw them. But what about lying to each other for fear of what if, now that they know they might have a chance together? That's harder to accept. ]
Exactly. Like with a pressure cooker, and it might still explode in the end.
[ Steve waits after that, allows Eddie to gather his thoughts, and almost expects him to have changed his mind and to tell him to go and leave him alone and not come back because that would be infinitely easier. Steve will leave if that's what Eddie wants, even if it hurts, because he has to respect the other man's decisions. He doesn't realize he's been holding his breath until Eddie's little thumb brush and the following answer feel like they punch it out of him. ]
Yeah...? That's good to know.
[ Because it gives him all the permission he needs, doubts be damned. His other hand cups Eddie's face, the pad of Steve's thumb gently brushing his cheekbone before he closes his eyes and leans in to press his lips to Eddie's. He keeps the kiss light at first, a tentative press of lips as if he's afraid to spook Eddie or himself. Steve's heart is racing like a restless bird, caged within the bones of his ribs, and it's not that much different from how he felt during his very first kiss with a girl. He's just as nervous as he was then, because he's kissing a guy for the first time too, and this is Eddie, and the world isn't ending.
It just feels natural; it feels right. And it's in part because it feels so incredibly normal and good that Steve does what he does when he's kissing someone, which is wrapping an arm around their waist to bring them close and deepen the kiss, with enthusiasm and want leaking through his movements.]
[ Eddie wants to tell him that he doesn’t really mind the “freak” moniker. Maybe there was a time when it used to hurt, but he’ll never admit that he ever cared what someone else thought of him, and so he’s accepted it, made it his own. But Steve is saying such sweet things…highly complimentary things, really, and Eddie can’t bear to cut him off. It takes a lot to make him blush like a schoolgirl. He’s not sure anyone’s managed to do it before, actually, but somehow anything Steve says manages to get to his very core.
He hates the idea of having to keep this silent. Someone as loud and brash as Eddie has never felt any need for that in any situation, but he’s not an idiot. He knows that this is different than playing into the Satanism and human sacrifice rumors. In a shitty little town like Hawkins, this could get them killed. It shouldn’t, but it could. That’s what’s terrifying, alongside the fact that they might be found out regardless, and he would very much like to not be the person who ruins Steve Harrington’s life.
But he also knows that the two of them are right. This is something they both feel and apparently have been feeling for some time, and if it hasn’t gone away yet, it isn’t going to. They could probably ignore it for a little longer, deny and pretend like no attraction exists behind their little shared glances, but it’s all just going to build up and explode sooner or later.
So he grants permission. His way of saying that he does want to give this a try, for better or worse. He wants to try to navigate this, so long as Steve does. He tenses only briefly, ready to flee and proclaim this a mistake before it can go any further—but then, slowly, he relaxes. If Eddie had any doubts, they’re all dashed away in an instant. This is right, his brain urges him as he melts into Steve’s embrace. This is right, this is right, this is right. It all just feels correct, even to a man who hasn’t been kissed before at all—Steve’s hand warm on his waist and lips on his own. He could easily swoon if he weren’t already seated.
He’s not a brave man, but he feels a spark of it for a moment. With trembling hands, he reaches up and carefully slips his fingers into Steve’s hair, finally making good on his promise to mess it up. It’s completely exhilarating, and when they part, he looks dazed and flushed, blinking as if the lights have just been flicked on. ]
[ Steve does mind, just like he gets annoyed when people make fun of Dustin's lack of teeth or Robin's quirkiness. He knows what it's like to act like it doesn't affect you. People who say those things are total morons, but it still gets under your skin at times and erodes you from the inside out. He's had to deal with one too many criticisms from his own father, too, to know.
The kids—teens, really—might not be his direct family, but he gets fiercely protective all the same, and Eddie...he does not see Eddie as family because then kissing him would be weird, but even if these things between them didn't work out, Steve would still care and look after him all the same. They're all a pack now.
He doesn't want to be chased out of town by narrow-minded folks any more than he wants to get eaten by demobats, but his reputation is the last of his worries. Steve is not going to ruin another good thing, another shot at a happy relationship, because of what people might say. They just need to be smarter and not draw too much attention to themselves while still doing what they want. If they managed to keep the mess with the upside down a secret from most of the population these years, this probably can't be that hard, right?
Right. ... Gods, He has no idea what he's doing, and he is way over his head.
But he knows one thing, and it is the only one that matters. That he might be more than a little bit in love with Eddie, and that the man is just too precious when he blushes to not kiss him senseless.
Okay, that makes two things, actually. Whatever. His brain is busy, and all his attention is on Eddie's mouth, the lingering taste of the beer on their tongues, and how warm the other man is under his touch. He also feels the other man tense up and then relax, so he keeps the kiss deep and slow. Then Eddie reaches out to touch his hair, which is a very good sign that makes Steve hum a little into the kiss out of happiness, like the dork he is.
There's a smile on his lips and a soft look in his brown eyes as he looks at his partner after the kiss, waiting for a verdict. Eddie makes him laugh. ]
Hmmm. You sure? [ One of his hands reaches up to the tips of Billy's hair, and he wraps a curl around his index finger. ] I dunno, maybe you need another try to really vanish any doubts.
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no subject
Date: 2025-11-16 05:44 am (UTC)He’s thoroughly flustered, however, when Steve says those four little words: I really like you. ]
Yeah…?
[ His hand goes straight to his hair again, tugging on a curl anxiously. His gaze shifts to Steve, eyes enormous and dark as he searches his face for…anything. Any sign that he may be fucking with him or trying to tell a bad joke, any sign that Eddie needs to shut this down before it becomes really bad, but all he finds is honesty. ]
I, uh…
[ He licks his lips, swallows thickly, and shit, he’s terrified. His heart pounds in his eardrums and flutters like a bird against the confines of his ribcage, desperate to be free. Yearning quietly is one thing—the safe thing, but putting it out there in the world…it can’t be taken back after that. But Steve was brave enough to say it, and Eddie…Eddie is supposed to be putting his money where his mouth is, so… ]
I like you too, man. Like—a hell of a lot more than I’ve ever liked anyone, honestly?
[ He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. ]
But it doesn’t—it doesn’t have to be anything, you know? You don’t have to—we don’t have to—I can pretend you didn’t say anything. If you want.
[ He peers up at him with a weak smile, anxiety etched into his features. He wants so badly to reach out and take this for what it is, to pull Steve in by his collar and kiss him absolutely stupid before he can change his mind and laugh it all off, but he just can’t. Because Steve is right—it is extremely dangerous in this shitty little midwest town where Eddie gets harassed just for his long hair and metal music. And that’s Eddie, who couldn’t give less of a shit what people think of him. Steve Harrington, however…popular, handsome, affluent family, known chick magnet.
Eddie can’t do that to him. Softly, he repeats: ]
I can pretend, Steve. It’s okay.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-16 09:19 pm (UTC)All those are things Steve would never have imagined before; he would be thinking about another man, but life throws you curveballs like those. Like when Eddie admits he likes him back, because what are the odds of that? Steve feels himself torn between wanting to beam at Eddie, fidget some more, and hyperventilate, but he managed to keep that last reaction in check. He runs his fingers through his hair to get it out of his face and maybe takes a second to coyly hide behind his hand for a moment. ]
Oh, that's great. I mean, more than great. I wasn't expecting reciprocation, so this is g... [ Don't say great again! ] ...fantastic.
[ It feels a little awkward to talk to him about this when he's still seated, so he stands up so they're at the same eye level and moves closer to Eddie. Steve's just like that, it seems, moving towards uncertainty or possible doom when he should be running for the hills and saving himself a lot of trouble. But Eddie's wroth, as he said, and he's a man of his word. He takes a deep breath, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly as he gulps before speaking. ]
No, that's not okay. You don't have to. We don't…we shouldn't have to do that.
[ He understands why Eddie is offering, and right here is probably the correct moment to decide what to do next, because they do not live in kinder times or around open-minded people. But he also knows what pretending is like; he's done it plenty in the past, even if the situation is different. He doesn't want Eddie to have to do that, like he didn't want Robin to hide from him either. It hurts too much not to be faithful to yourself. He reaches out to gently brush his hand against Eddie, slow enough that the other man can pull away if he wants, making Steve's own wariness evident. He gives a small smile of his own in response to that hesitant one, though, aiming for encouraging. ]
Besides, it wouldn't really change anything, would it? Not for me, at least.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-17 06:56 am (UTC)I know I’m a freak, Steve, but I’m not insane enough to not reciprocate.
[ Steve is an easy man to fall for, no matter how little experience Eddie has with the concept. Handsome and brave and caring and frankly hilarious whether he means to be or not is apparently a dangerous combo for Eddie. But this is neither the ideal place nor the ideal time, and Steve is right, they shouldn’t have to do pretend, but they will, and why should Steve have to navigate the complexities of a relationship like this when he can just find a pretty girl? Any pretty girl he wants. Eddie just wants so badly to spare him everything about this, but…
Eddie closes his eyes, takes a deep breath as Steve moves from the space beside him. He waits for a beat, assuming the sound of the ancient screen door is going to follow, thus leaving him with two uneaten pizzas and a broken heart. But that isn’t what happens. Steve merely comes to stand before him. He brushes his hand against Eddie’s, and Eddie doesn’t pull back. In fact, he carefully brushes his thumb against Steve’s as his eyelids flutter open once more and finally shifts his gaze to Steve’s and—he’s lost. That smile is everything, and he’d happily gaze at it for the rest of his life given the opportunity. ]
It wouldn't change. You'd just be putting a lid on it.
[ That’s one thing. You can hide it all you like but it doesn’t exactly go away. Eddie hesitates. ]
Hey, uh, Steve?
[ His voice comes soft as he scoots forward to the edge of the counter. ]
You know, if you wanted to kiss me, I wouldn’t exactly be opposed.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-17 11:26 pm (UTC)His eyes keep going to Eddie's hands and his long fingers, which frankly look very nice and he wouldn't mind feeling them on him, to the point he's starting to get jealous of the guy's hair. Steve can't help but marvel at the realization of how cute it is that Eddie is being kind of shy over all this. Better that than anger or disgust. Steve hadn't known what to expect; he didn't exactly have plans to ever tell Eddie about his growing interest, but he's glad that he did now, even if everything is still so new and fragile. ]
You're not a freak. You're just...different. That isn't bad, despite what people might tell you. You're fun, you have a great imagination, and you're kind. If that's being a freak, maybe we all should be more freaky on the regular.
[ He seems affronted that Eddie would call himself that, even if it's true that he's heard people call him those kinds of things—and worse—before. It makes Steve feel guilty, too, because his past is filled with bad decisions and condescending name-calling towards people who didn't deserve it, like Eddie, and now he knows better.
His protectiveness came up so fast that his brain didn't register that Eddie said 'reciprocate' until a good long second after the fact. Oh. If Eddie does glance at him, he might see Steve realize that in real time, a little but pleased smile appears on his face, not smug but satisfied that Eddie might like him back.
In this town, yes, they would need to keep up appearances in front of others and pretend so they can keep each other safe, like Robin and Steve already do. He understands and finds it more than reasonable. Hell, if his parents learned that he swings both ways, who knows how they would react; if past fights with his dad were any indication, it would get nasty. Good thing that a) Steve couldn't give less of a shit about what his father thinks and b) they're never around anyway and have all but formally abandoned him in Hawkins, so screw them. But what about lying to each other for fear of what if, now that they know they might have a chance together? That's harder to accept. ]
Exactly. Like with a pressure cooker, and it might still explode in the end.
[ Steve waits after that, allows Eddie to gather his thoughts, and almost expects him to have changed his mind and to tell him to go and leave him alone and not come back because that would be infinitely easier. Steve will leave if that's what Eddie wants, even if it hurts, because he has to respect the other man's decisions. He doesn't realize he's been holding his breath until Eddie's little thumb brush and the following answer feel like they punch it out of him. ]
Yeah...? That's good to know.
[ Because it gives him all the permission he needs, doubts be damned. His other hand cups Eddie's face, the pad of Steve's thumb gently brushing his cheekbone before he closes his eyes and leans in to press his lips to Eddie's. He keeps the kiss light at first, a tentative press of lips as if he's afraid to spook Eddie or himself. Steve's heart is racing like a restless bird, caged within the bones of his ribs, and it's not that much different from how he felt during his very first kiss with a girl. He's just as nervous as he was then, because he's kissing a guy for the first time too, and this is Eddie, and the world isn't ending.
It just feels natural; it feels right. And it's in part because it feels so incredibly normal and good that Steve does what he does when he's kissing someone, which is wrapping an arm around their waist to bring them close and deepen the kiss, with enthusiasm and want leaking through his movements.]
no subject
Date: 2025-11-22 12:53 am (UTC)He hates the idea of having to keep this silent. Someone as loud and brash as Eddie has never felt any need for that in any situation, but he’s not an idiot. He knows that this is different than playing into the Satanism and human sacrifice rumors. In a shitty little town like Hawkins, this could get them killed. It shouldn’t, but it could. That’s what’s terrifying, alongside the fact that they might be found out regardless, and he would very much like to not be the person who ruins Steve Harrington’s life.
But he also knows that the two of them are right. This is something they both feel and apparently have been feeling for some time, and if it hasn’t gone away yet, it isn’t going to. They could probably ignore it for a little longer, deny and pretend like no attraction exists behind their little shared glances, but it’s all just going to build up and explode sooner or later.
So he grants permission. His way of saying that he does want to give this a try, for better or worse. He wants to try to navigate this, so long as Steve does. He tenses only briefly, ready to flee and proclaim this a mistake before it can go any further—but then, slowly, he relaxes. If Eddie had any doubts, they’re all dashed away in an instant. This is right, his brain urges him as he melts into Steve’s embrace. This is right, this is right, this is right. It all just feels correct, even to a man who hasn’t been kissed before at all—Steve’s hand warm on his waist and lips on his own. He could easily swoon if he weren’t already seated.
He’s not a brave man, but he feels a spark of it for a moment. With trembling hands, he reaches up and carefully slips his fingers into Steve’s hair, finally making good on his promise to mess it up. It’s completely exhilarating, and when they part, he looks dazed and flushed, blinking as if the lights have just been flicked on. ]
So, uh…I could get used to that, actually.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-24 05:55 pm (UTC)The kids—teens, really—might not be his direct family, but he gets fiercely protective all the same, and Eddie...he does not see Eddie as family because then kissing him would be weird, but even if these things between them didn't work out, Steve would still care and look after him all the same. They're all a pack now.
He doesn't want to be chased out of town by narrow-minded folks any more than he wants to get eaten by demobats, but his reputation is the last of his worries. Steve is not going to ruin another good thing, another shot at a happy relationship, because of what people might say. They just need to be smarter and not draw too much attention to themselves while still doing what they want. If they managed to keep the mess with the upside down a secret from most of the population these years, this probably can't be that hard, right?
Right.
...
Gods, He has no idea what he's doing, and he is way over his head.
But he knows one thing, and it is the only one that matters. That he might be more than a little bit in love with Eddie, and that the man is just too precious when he blushes to not kiss him senseless.
Okay, that makes two things, actually. Whatever. His brain is busy, and all his attention is on Eddie's mouth, the lingering taste of the beer on their tongues, and how warm the other man is under his touch. He also feels the other man tense up and then relax, so he keeps the kiss deep and slow. Then Eddie reaches out to touch his hair, which is a very good sign that makes Steve hum a little into the kiss out of happiness, like the dork he is.
There's a smile on his lips and a soft look in his brown eyes as he looks at his partner after the kiss, waiting for a verdict. Eddie makes him laugh. ]
Hmmm. You sure? [ One of his hands reaches up to the tips of Billy's hair, and he wraps a curl around his index finger. ] I dunno, maybe you need another try to really vanish any doubts.